Chessington World Of Adventures

 

I have been to Chessington a handful of times in my life due to various school trips or a treat for my brother. However, this was Jamie's first time so I wanted to make it special.

In the Thorpe Park post I broke it to the nation that I could no longer cope with roller coasters-- this is still absolutely the case. I was looking forward to going on Vampire, one of my favourite rides that I've ever been on. This mainly for the name in all honesty. So I bigged it up to Jay, we saw it wizz past our heads, turned to each other and simply said 'nah'. It is safe to say I am of the age where baby rides are my limit, I will be the cool mum bag watching when the time comes.

We wanted this to follow the same strain as TP, as in take it in our stride, have a lot of fun, and there being no pressure for rides or anything. Mission accomplished, this was another successful day out! In all honesty it was just as well we came with this philosophy as we are completely in agreement that if we hadn't had this aim in place the day would have been a let down as quite frankly Chessington is a bit naff.

So let us talk you through our day dear reader...

We left quite early in anticipation for the great summer holiday rush which usually affects our part of Kent. This wasn't an issue and as we were so early we decided to stop at the first services and treat ourselves to a maccies breakfast.

Heading to Leatherhead we blasted our tunes, sang along and chatted the usual couple nonsense which we've come to expect from each other. We reached our destination at just gone 11am, parked in the Giraffe car park (this will become relevant later) and made our way in.

The entry was painless, there was no queue, no automations, just show your code to a person and walk right on in. This was so different from Thorpe Park which was a bit of a pain, the day had started off very easy so far.

So the first thing we do is hit the little boys & girls room as we needed to pee real bad. We both had a bit of a shock as we entered our respective toilets. Jamie was taken aback to find a woman in the mens toilet, looking ahead to find her boyfriend just putting his jeans back on with the cubicle wide open. Doesn't take a genius to work out what they were doing in a theme park toilet...

And I had a shock at the clear state of the ladies, so no wonder they picked the men's loo to do the deed. Most of the toilets were backed up, every single one of the seats were broken and askew, there was urine all over the floor. It was disgusting. Chessington need to get on the cleanliness bus, Thorpe Park's loos are almost spotless and were nice to go in, with Chessington I refused to go unless I was about to wee myself they were that bad. I went to two different toilets during the day and both were in bad shape.

Leaving behind our first bad experience we set off on a slow walk through Asia Village after locating some freestyle cups as you know how handy they are. First thing we did following our little hydrating rest stop was go to one of the side arcades by the claw machines where Jamie thrashed me at a game of Air Hockey. It was 1-0 to Jay and I was not happy about it, especially as we had left Thorpe Park with me at least 2 points ahead. 

There was also a fortune telling machine which was right up my street, we both got pretty decent fortunes, it was just a shame that there was no paper in the machine so it could print it for a momento after. The same thing became apparent with some printer ink at the pirate photobooth, we paid £3 for a photo, picked the best one, only for the paper to come out practically blank as there was no ink. We were really sad about it. These two events set a theme for this park and it wasn't the one they wanted, from this we started to believe that maybe Chessington has had its day as there seemed to be no consistent upkeep of the attractions that weren't rides.

We found ourselves heading for Tomb Blaster just as the heavens opened and the rain came down. I love this ride and was eager for Jamie to experience it as he is into pretty much the same thing as me. This would have been a successful competition between us had the shooters been working correctly. Once again, maintenance just isn't a strength for this park. Not only do the shooters themselves need reorientation, but they also need to change the speed of the light sensors which gives you points as there are so many on your train that by the time you've managed to get your little red dot to hit one its timed out as someone else has run over it so you don't score and then you're moving again. While the ride itself is detailed and has a good explorer theme to it, the magic was lost a little as the technical issues behind it all spoilt it.

Next up we laughed a lot, took some photos with some of the displays dotted around and Jamie won me a little Zebra in a duck game. We walked through the Wild West themed section and decided to go on the Gruffalo ride.

Jamie has heard me gush about this ride when it used to be Bathworks, he's looked it up on Youtube and is gutted it isn't still a thing. However, you can absolutely still smell that ride when passing through sections on the Gruffalo. That stuff must have lived in the walls! The Gruffalo ride was a gentle one, lots of opportunity for being splashed with water, and tells the story of the Gruffalo which we were not actually listening to. The ride is detailed, well lit, and quite cute. It was a lovely little experience and a chance for us to relax on a gentle river boat ride while we decided what to do next. As you can see from the photo, someone got a little too excited for the drop section of the ride which we went down after the picture was taken.

Following this we hit the arcade. 2p machines are my speciality and we came out with a rubber duck and 3 octopi. We then had the opportunity to play another game of Air Hockey where I managed to even the score, played a basketball hoop game that put Jamie in the lead again, evened the score once more following skeeball, and put myself one ahead in a bowling simulator. Take note, it's 3-2 to Lauren.

We then made the mistake of going to the Smokehouse for our lunch. We'd been looking forward to this for a few days as Jay is a massive fan of pulled pork and loves a BBQ. Not only did we have major issues with the tablets, but when the food turned up it was vile. It looked lovely, but the pulled pork burger was missing its hash browns and jalapenos, the poboy was missing its jalapenos and was full of the most gristly bits of pork ever not to mention the slimy close to the bone bits, and the chicken was cold and a little odd. We left most of that meal that cost us £58 and were so disappointed.

Following that let down we decided to take a walk through the park just to see what else was going on. I was starting to get grouchy I admit as I felt like the day was becoming a little bit of a let down, but Jamie kept the standards high and thus we decided to still have a good time. 

We marched through some sections taking in the sights and yelling nope at different rides. Jamie then won me a Dinosaur and we made our way to Sealife where we took nice pictures, got rushed by a bunch of rude families, and found that a lot of the fish here had been moved and their sections closed down. Another indicator that perhaps Chessington is being left behind...

We then went on to walk through the zoo where all the animals stubbornly took themselves behind things for a kip which I thought was hilarious (I don't really agree with zoos). Then on the Zufari ride which lasted 10 minutes and was not worth the queue. You drove through Giraffes, Rhinos and goats before getting shut in this cave which was meant to be scary and then boom over. It was pointless. That put a bit of a negative spin on things for Jamie as he loves zoos and safari rides and this was a shoddy version of both.

We then went to see the meerkats, you get the opportunity to put your head in a dome to pop up in their pen, but these are so scratched up that you can't actually see through it so again you would have thought Chessington would have replaced these. 

We then decided to try a few more rides as I felt guilty as we came to this park and barely went on anything, despite the fact Jamie was having a blast (aside from lunch and the zufari ride). We came across a Trawlers ride and this was quite fun for a kiddie ride. 

Following our trip back to our younger days, we went back to the arcade and won some different octopi, dice, and about 14 lollies before playing one last round of Air Hockey again putting me ahead. We did a nerf battle where Jamie won, but we ended the day on Lauren 4-3.

Heading back out to see what else was left to do, we were informed that the park closed in 15 minutes. We decided enough was enough, Jamie went to one last stall, won me a medium sized Giraffe to sum up the day (it is adorable) and then off we went, homeward bound.

To sum up our trip to Chessington, it was a double edged sword. One one hand we had a great day, we had plenty of fun and made some memories. On the other hand the attractions are outdated, one of the rides broke down temporarily with people on when we first got there, food was rank, rides were short or boring, and there simply was not enough going on. Aesthetically the place is very pleasing. I love the themed places and a lot more thought went into it then in Thorpe Park. I loved the different sections, I loved the rides that went with the themes, I just wished there were more effort involved. Jamie loved his first trip here but echoed my disappointment and while we agreed we'd probably go back, it won't be for a while and is likely to be for a better special occasion.

We came for the Summer Festival they put on. Aside from chucking beach balls and floaty rings on existing statues there was no festival vibe here. While the day was fun, the event was a big thumbs down from us. Hopefully it improves in future! Next up on our Theme Park plans is Alton Towers which will be a new experience for both of us!

DISCLAIMER: Now for the official bit. This blog does not receive any paid promotions from the places mentioned above. We have not been approached to promote or act as spokespersons for any attraction mentioned within this post and this is simply a post intended to act as a day in the life of a couple on a cute date. All photos included are taken by ourselves and as such the rights for these images our ours, no links, brands, or companies mentioned otherwise belong or are associated with Phantom Adventures UK. We are responsible only for this blog. Opinions are our own and not influenced by any third party source.. 

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